My friend and I were so excited to finally try Kumiko. - Kumiko Chicago - Buy Reservations
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🤮 1/5 - My friend and I were so excited to finally try Kumiko.
By 👻 @Tara S., 03/20/2023 3:00 am
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We went in on a Friday evening with no reservation. We were prepared to go somewhere else if there wasn't any availability, but the hostess sat us down within at the bar within 10 minutes.She asked if we planned on only drinks, and we informed her that we'd also like to eat dinner.The drinks were good. The food took a while to come and OMG, this isn't regular food. The portion sizes are for toddlers or gnomes. But the portions are certainly not for regular people (even though the pricing would suggest it is a regular portion). We ordered about 5 things.We were disappointed at the portion size, but we just shrugged it off and enjoyed ourselves. The food was meh We were there for a little over an hour and every 3 minutes during that hour while our food was present (that's NOT an exaggeration) someone would ask to clear our plates that we were obviously still eating from! They even had the gall to take plates away while we were literally eating from them. We were annoyed at this because we had so little food already, we were like, "PLEASE...leave the food!" Or, give it back, in a few cases.We were silly. We thought we could go in, sit at the bar, relax and enjoy our food and drinks ... but NO!What no one told us when we sat down (or we would have gone somewhere else) is that they give you a STRICT HOUR at the bar to eat/drink and then you MUST GO! So apparently the reason people were trying to take our plates every few minutes and curling us like vultures is because they were trying very very hard to rush us out. We were oblivious to this, and so after about an hour the manager came over to dress us down about our lingering.In an extremely passive-aggressive tone the manager informed us that, "your server has been doing EVERYTHING she possibly can to accommodate you, but these seats have a strict 1hr time limit, and you've exceeded that hour." We were floored. We came in to drink, eat , and enjoy ... but apparently, at Kumiko, enjoyment is inappropriate.Her interruption completely ruined our experience there. The people sitting next to us even commented, "Wow! That was really harsh and unnecessary!"FOOD:Scallops (the most $$) were small and cheap grade D scallops about the size of your pinky fingernail! The dish had too much umami and not enough bite so it felt like I was eating a wet bland tongue that had a previously rough night. Gross. The caviar on top is totally wasted in this dish because the overall bland flavor just washed the caviar right out. Whoever the chef is needs to go back to culinary school and learn about flavor balance. The dish was something like $38 for about the equivalent of one and a half regular sized scallops. Totally not worth it. And in very poor taste.The fried chicken was good because fried chicken is generally good--difficult to mess up. It was also greasy and not my preferred food to fill up on. But it was certainly the most hearty of the dishes.The mackerel was (again) too umami and not good flavor balance. It's served lightly seared, so basically raw, in umami dashi (broth). And that's the sum of the dish. It was underwhelming to say the least, and lacked anything that pulled the dish together in an interesting or memorable way. Very boring.The pickles were great, and I know because I make the same pickles at home. LolThe entire bill with 4 drinks and 5 items came out to $300. For that, we were "allowed" to sit at the bar for an hour, constantly disturbed by servers, who I affectionately call Kumiko Vultures, now.The staff is not only rude, but passive aggressive in their behavior, ESPECIALLY the manager. If you decide to go, enjoy a drink then get food somewhere else.
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